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You Know You’re a Drywaller If … Part 2

We pick up where we left off last month with a continuation of the entries we received in our Snap Us a Line contest. We asked you to complete the sentence, “You know you’re a drywaller if …,” and here on the next few pages are the rest of your responses.

And in case you forgot, the contest winner is Sandy Mullins of TNC Drywall, Inc. in Boulder, Colo., who said, “You know you’re a drywaller if you’re called a stud and you ask, ‘What gauge?’”

I See Dead People

… you have ever been chased by a ghost buster.

… people frequently are scared, thinking they’ve seen a ghost!

… you come home looking like a ghost!

… you can work your nails till you see dust.

… you clap and cause a dust storm.

… you fart white dust.

… you prefer drywall dust sprinkled on your meals.

… you use the dust other than throwing it away.

… you’re not the one complaining about the dust.

… your favorite song is “Dust in the Wind.”

… your wallet has more Sheetrock dust in it than money.

… your wedding song was “Another One Bites The Dust.”

… dust follows you everywhere. :}

… DUST is just another four letter word!

… you sneeze and there’s a white gypsum cloud out in front of you.

… you sneeze gypsum.

… everything you touch turns to snow.

Numbers and Measurements

… you are under 5′ 3″.

… you don’t mark 16s anymore.

… you don’t need to measure anything under 16 inches.

… you have ever heard someone say, “I used to hang 100 boards a day in the middle of summer by myself” and you believed them!

… taking measurements is your break.

… you made 12s fit down an 8-foot stairway.

… 32 square feet is not 16 weird-looking people.

Color Matters

… your favorite colors are White and Gray.

… that gray in your hair is really Sheetrock dust.

… “green lid or blue lid” are fighting words.

… you can wash the gray out of your hair.

… your hair is black and people think you’re getting gray.

… you speak in color code, green, purple, blue, black, red, yellow.

… your natural hair color became gray after one week on the job.

… you dream in “white.”

… your fingernails are white!

… you don’t need a French manicure because the undersides of your fingernails are permanently white.

… all you see is white!

… your carpet in your house is white, even if it didn’t start out that way.

… your blue jeans are white.

… your whites double as wedding attire.

… you sometimes shadow white footprints.

… your favorite color is white.

Size Matters

… you wear a size 18 neck and a size 5 hat!

… your forearms are bigger than your legs.

… one arm is longer than the other.

… one hand resembles Popeye’s.

… you stand next to a cowboy and your biceps are
bigger than his thighs.

… your upper body looks like the Hulk’s without ever going to the gym.

… your wrists are the size of most folks’ necks.

… you wear a size 50 shirt and a size 5 hat.

Texture Matters

… every room in your house has a different texture on the ceiling.

… you like your popcorn without butter.

… your dog house has textured walls.

… you can knockdown a wall without actually knocking it down.

… you nailed the texture.

… you transform sheets of rock into orange peel.

… too much popcorn is actually a good thing!

… you can turn hanging rock into orange peel.

… you can make orange peel from rock and mud.

… you complete your work with a knock down.

… you can “knock-down” your “popcorn” ceiling.

… any of your closest relatives own a drywall company.

… your dad was a Sheetrocker.

… you can remember 10 measurements but not your wife’s birthday.

… you have to strip at your front door before your wife lets you come in!
… your wife bakes bread in your new mudpan.

… you help your wife hang pictures with a 6000 rpm screw gun.

… your wife is also your bookkeeper.

… your wife makes more money than you do.

… your wife uses a stomper at Thanksgiving!

… your sponge ruins your wife’s pans.

… your spouse advertizes “Drywaller Wanted!”

… your eyes hug the wall more than your arms hug your wife.

… your kids use Sheetrock mud to make mud pies.

… you name your first two kids Dusty and Sandy.

… your kids are the only ones in science class who can identify a gypsum rock.

… your kids had you bring a boom truck in for show and tell.

… your kids use drywall for sidewalk chalk.

… your son says he going to hang with friends and you think he has a side job.

… your child’s school projects include Sheetrock and joint compound (mud).

… your kid’s first piece of chalk was a piece of drywall.

Tour the House/b>

… your own house has major cracks in it and you just don’t care!

… someone ever asked you how big your house is and you said “about 200 sheets.”

… the drywall in your own home needs more work than the jobs you’re working on.

… the temperature in the house has to be just right to prevent cracks.

… your deck is put together with drywall screws.

… you ever tried calling your house from the job site and accidentally dialed the local drywall supply house.

… you finished your own basement.

Other People’s Walls

… when you walk into someone’s house, the first thing you do is sight down their walls and cringe.

… when you’re in a museum, the walls are the art.

… you inspect the wall/ceilings wherever you go.

… nail pops, cat faces and tape cracks are the first things you notice at an art gallery.

… shopping malls become dangerous. You repeatedly fall down escalators, into planters, fountains and over benches while appreciating the work above.

… friends invite you to dinner when they are helplessly prepping their bedroom themselves.

… you count the nail pops while sitting in the waiting room.

… the walls in the building are more interesting than the people in them.

… you go to the mall and only look at the walls!

… you pick apart someone else’s work!

… you ever walked onto a new job site, looked high up at a cathedral ceiling, and was thankful that it was going to be finished in wood instead of drywall.

… you walked into another room of that same job site, looked up, and asked, “Why the hell do they need so many can lights?!”

… your dress clothes have joint compound stains.

… even pigeons are impressed with the mess you make.

… people think you train seagulls for a living.

… people think you’re a painter.

… your pants are covered in mud.

… sometimes you look the victim of a flock of birds.

… you look like a pigeon farmer.

… you leave the job looking like a slob.

… you undress on your porch.

… you wash your hands before going to the bathroom

… your clothes look like you raise pigeons.

… it’s easier just to shower with your clothes on!

… you leave the job with pride, but dust on your hide.

Just Plain Funny

… this is the best shirt in your closet.

… you can’t read this T-shirt.

… all your shirts have white paint on them.

… this shirt is covered in spackle and paint.

… this shirt is still white at the end of the day.

… this was a clean, BLACK shirt at 7 a.m.

… you can take this shirt off and it stands on its own!

… you only entered this contest because you needed another white T-shirt.

… you put this shirt in your free drywall shirt drawer.

… you wear a shirt that says “You know you’re a drywaller if.”

… you’re wearing this stupid shirt.

… this shirt looks like Camo on you.

… the only pencil holder you ever use is behind your ear.

… you learned geometry at work instead of school.

… you love your mudder.

… you start your day with finish.

… people look up to you on a daily basis.

… you have been around more “white powder” than Manuel Noriega.

… the taco truck calls out your name over a megaphone when entering
the job site.

… you’re afraid of a 500 watt light bulb.

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