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You Know You’re a Drywaller If …

Out of nearly 650 entries, that’s our winning answer, which was provided by Sandy Mullins of TNC Drywall, Inc. in Boulder, Colo. By the time you read this, Sandy is already enjoying her iPad 2 prize, and the T-shirts that are printed with her winning saying are on their way to her. T-shirts will also be distributed (while supplies last) from the AWCI booth and the AWCI’s Construction Dimensions booth to attendees at the INTEX Expo, April 18–19 in Charlotte, N.C.




Sandy’s official title at TNC Drywall is office manager, and she is also the company’s secretary/treasurer. The company was formed in 1980 by Sandy’s husband, Joe, and today their jobs are mainly commercial and high-end residential. Sandy started working for the company in May 2006 when she decided she was ready to leave her job in hotel sales. For TNC she handles all of the bookkeeping duties, payroll and tracks change orders.




Sandy says that is possible to work with your spouse. But she and Joe have a rule, she says: “No work stuff at home, and no home stuff at work. That rule has kept our marriage as smooth as a Level 5 finish.”




Congratulations, Sandy!




And many thanks to our more than 145 readers who submitted the many fun and interesting ways to finish the sentence, “You know you’re a drywaller if ….” Below are most of the other answers; unfortunately there isn’t room to print them all, and some of them were just a little too risqué for our PG-rated magazine. To see some of what’s not printed here, go to our editor’s Facebook page. If you’re not already friends with Laura Porinchak on Facebook, be sure to look her up!




Rock ‘n’ Roll!


… all music at work is “Rock” music.



… you aren’t disappointed you didn’t become a firefighter or astronaut because you grew up to be a ROCKstar.


… let’s rock and roll has a different meaning to you.


… you can rock around the clock!


… you hang rock around the clock using a hawk and some chalk.


… you know how to rock (walls) & roll (angles)!


… you rock till you drop.


… “rock and roll” means “drywall and tape.”


… you “rock” the house.


… the song “Rock Around the Clock” makes you tired.


… the sound of screw guns sounds like music to your ears.


… your favorite line is “Sheetrock-n-roll!”


… when you mention rocker you’re not talking about music.


… you never stop rocking.





The Self-Promoters


… you can “Finish It!” We can! Azevedo Drywall


… nobody can, “Rob-Can” Drywall Services Limited.





The Name-Droppers


… you have a dog named Grabber.


… USG is not a text message.


… you lay it all down with Marshalltown.


… you work with a new Milwaukee all day and drink Old Milwaukee all

night.


… your “pole sander” looks “Better-Than-Ever.”


… you’re coffee cream looks like “Pro-Roc.”


… you do automotive body work with brown bag Durabond.


… AWCI’s Construction Dimensions is your favorite magazine.


… you count the days when the next issue of AWCI’s Construction Dimensions arrives.


… you can hang with us, the AWCI.


… you get excited when a new issue of AWCI’s Construction Dimensions arrives in your mailbox.


… you get magazines from AWCI!


… AWCI’s Construction Dimensions adorns your toilet tank cover.


… you look forward to reading AWCI’s Construction Dimensions.


… you like Laura M. Porinchak’s columns!





The Know-It-Alls



… you identify and tell people the brand of exterior sheathing you saw, without them asking.


… you know all the tricks of the trade.


… you know that anything can be built or fixed with 1 1/4” drywall screws.


… you know hanging rock evolves into floating mud.


… you know hanging rock is not just a state park in North Carolina.


… you know hanging rock is not a geological formation.


… you know how much the job pays before you even start!


… you know how to estimate drywall better than most estimators.


… you know rock-paper-scissors is more than just a hand game.


… you know the meaning of “Beer 30.”


… you know the meaning of “It’s a bird.”


… you know what a slop box is.


… you know hanging rock eventually turns into floating mud.


… you know hanging rock leads to floating mud.


… you know floating mud evolves from hanging rock.


… you laugh at T-squares.


… you know “railroading” is not a train.


… you’ve never seen a perfect job!


… you don’t use How-To-Drywall.com.





The Showoffs
… you can drive your nails in one hit.



… you can carry a small elephant without breaking a sweat.


… it’s easier to tell the thickness of drywall by feel than by sight.



… you can answer all questions that are asked and you show them what you can do.


… you get paid dirt cheap when you make it look easy!


… you make it look easy!


… your hammering has a beat of one-two, one-two.


… you can repair your own mistakes.


… you can screw off all day and still get the job done.


… using your head means balancing the board on the ceiling.





The Egos!


… you are the smartest guy on the job.


… you are the toughest guy on the job.


… you are proud of your finish.


… the only perfect drywall job that you’ve ever seen is your own.


… you think you are the best one out there.





They Love Their Jobs



… “The Rock” was your favorite movie.


… the sight of drywall makes you happy.


… you get excited over new drywall products.


… you enjoy a good Tape & Float job.


… you love sanding.


… you love to play in mud.


… you point out boom trucks on the road to your friends.


… you point out new construction to people.


… you stand with pride, with mud in your eye.


… you’re covered in mud and still smiling.


… you remember your wedding anniversary, children’s birthdays and the day lightweight drywall was announced.


… it’s in your Blood.


… you watch drywalling on television for fun.


… you still watch old reruns of “Roseanne” because you know that John Goodman’s character was a drywaller.


… working in a corner brings back childhood memories.


… you wake up tired from dreaming of drywall.


… you think about drywall for the few hours you aren’t around it.


… you eat, sleep and drink Rock.


… you have dreams about drywall.


… your pride is greater than your paycheck.





Just Hanging Around …



… “start hanging” makes you happy.


… “hanging around town” does not mean you are out of work.


… you can hang all day but not in R&R terms.


… you can hang in there.


… you can hang with the best of them.


… you have/don’t have a hangover.


… you don’t have hang-ups.


… you hang 60 sheets a day.


… you hang CaSO4•2H2O.


… you’re hang’n the rough ones and finish’n ‘em smooth.




… you hang with your buddies all day.


… you hang, tape, finish and sand your own work.


… “Hanging Today” involves work!


… you are three dimensional—hang, tape, finish.


… you spend most of your day “hanging and screwing.”


… you can frame, hang and finish above the rest.


… all your friends think that you drink too much because you’re always hanging.


… you’re always “hanging” around.


… you’re hung up on finishing down.


… your installer is hanging around.





Cracks!



… your crack doesn’t show.


… you crack and buckle under stress.


… you say “NO” to crack.


… you’re cracking up.





Body Image Issues?



… your hands feel like an abrasive sponge.


… your knuckles drag on the ground.


… the top of your head is flatter than a pool table.


… you ever showed up to work with a fresh buzz cut because the day before you weren’t fast enough to get out of the way of the falling

drywall glue.


… you swear your bald spot is the result of heading up too much drywall.


… you ever tried saving your hair by cutting a circular piece of foam or carpet and putting in your hat before you head up drywall.


… you have calluses on the top of your head.


… you have no hair and no neck!


… you have polar bear paws.


… you respond to polar bear.


… you don’t go to the fitness club for a workout.





No Pun Intended?



… you gypsum but never cheat ‘em.


… life is a gyp.


… you know putting more mud on a bad joint may just “compound” the problem.


… you “seam” to be able to “fill” yourself.





Other Trades/Allies



… painters know you are in your prime.


… by the end of the day you say, “Good enough! The taper will fix it.”


… you’d rather hang out with your mother-in-law than a perfectionist
taper.


… your favorite line is “the taper will fix it.”


… the taper is optional.


… your favorite phrase is, “The taper will fix it.”


… you ever told an electrician or plumber what they can do with their back-charge.


… you’ve taped a plumber’s crack.


… you think drywall project managers are called PMs because they don’t start work until the afternoon.


… the finisher says you are.


… the sanders say so …


… your hat is bigger than a painter’s hat.


… your shopping list is 2 inches wide and has a crease.


… you take long bathroom breaks examining the finisher’s work.


… you don’t like framers and painters don’t like you.


… the phrase “tape, mud and sand” does not mean a day at the beach!


… you refer to apprentices as professional screw-ups.


… you ever had to be held back from assaulting a drywall inspector.


… your drywall sales rep gives you an empty flask for Christmas!


… you ever opened up a set of plans, looked at the drywall details and said, “What was that architect thinking?!”





Names/Nicknames



… they call you Mudman instead of Studman.



… your nickname is Mr. Smooth.


… you are known as Mr. Smooth.


… they call you 1%-er, hangman or mud man!


… you ever nicknamed your favorite hang-out “The Job-Site.”


… your name is Dusty Sanders.


… your boat is named “Sheet Rocker.”


… your pets’ names are Dusty & Sandy.


… your last name is Hangmudsand.


… your best friends are Sandy and Dusty.





Vehicles



… flat tires are an everyday problem.


… you clean your tools using your truck’s headlights.


… you ever followed a drywall stocking truck to find your job site.


… you’re driving down the road and you rubber-neck every time you see a semi-truck full of drywall.


… your drywall cart is more reliable than your truck.


… you’ve used Durabond to repair the fender on your truck … and it’s still not painted.


… your garage is the place you keep your empty drywall buckets, not your truck.


… your truck has white seats.


… there is more spackle on your truck than there is paint.


… your pickup truck can’t be overloaded.


… the chrome on your pickup is held on with pan heads.


… you ever hauled drywall in your personal vehicle because the estimator missed it by a few sheets.


… the dent on your car is patched with Durabond.


… you always have to carry a patch kit for screws in your tire trucks.


… you’ve had more than one flat tire caused by drywall screws.


… your van is your warehouse, office, and sometimes your home.





All in a Day’s Work



… you’re always carrying a line.


… you’re always running an angle.


… you think level and square is cool.


… you hear “ship it” 60x a day.


… you yell “ship it” 60x a day.


… you lay it on the line.


… you never use an ink pen at work because you found out that it

bleeds through paint.


… there is never enough time in the construction schedule for Spec. Section 09250, but you get it done anyway.


… you can fill the void.


… you can fill your boots.


… you can fill in the blanks.


… you have heard the saying, “I tried this one time …”


… she says, “My husband thought he could do it.”


… you have ever said, “You think that’s heavy?”


… you measure twice and cut once!


… you screw everything up.


… you screw the stud and add some mud.


… your “corners” are “round.”


… you’re always staggered and all screwed up.


… you’re always tacking off.


… Corona is your main meal.


… you put Quality above all.


… you hear “finish” and grab your pan and knife.


… you can “finish” it!


… your idea of boxing doesn’t include padded gloves.


… all of your friends ask you to do side-jobs for them.


… pride comes before pay.





Woe Is Me!



… you run out of money long before you run out of mud.


… you get a nail pouch for Christmas!


… you get blamed for everything.


… you get your cell phone from a gas station.




… your Home Depot account is like a second mortgage.


… you’re already behind schedule before you start a job.


… you sweat 8hrs/day.


… winning the lottery means you can quit your second job.


… the job is finished, pictures hung, and your paycheck is somewhere in the mail.


… people ask you to do it for piece work!


… you are the first sub blamed and the last sub paid.


… you think you have found the bottom of the market, then they ask you to dig deeper!


… your last bid was 40% high.


… you have to invest a lot of money to make a little money.


… you’re broke but still have “Compound” interest.


… you work for free.


… you get blamed for all the nail pops!


… you desperately need an iPad because you’re still Nextel-ling it!


… stairs and elevators are your sworn enemy.


… weekends aren’t days off.


… when the sweat dries, you stiffen up.


… your tape role is bigger than your bankroll.


… your tools cost more than your truck!


… you’re working on Saturday!


… you’re still at the office and it’s dark outside!


… your phone rings off the hook for help and money, yet your calls for the same remain unanswered.


… you ever called it an early day because the superintendent just said that the high work you just hung is supposed to be finished in something other than drywall.


… you have a sore back and mud on your clothes.


… your cell phone doesn’t work until you can buy more minutes on Friday.


… you consider heat to be a luxury on a job site.


… you never know what day of the week it is.


… you made a lot of money in 2004 through 2008 and now you are hurting for work and broke. LOL.


… you have to chase down your paycheck!


… you talk about the days when we all made money.


… you’ve been told the delivery is 20 minutes away.


… working before or after daylight is an occupational hazard.





Oh, the Pain!



… your work days start with a thermos of coffee and a bottle of aspirin.


… the chiropractor is in your speed dial.


… your feet is a’aching & your back a’breaking, but U keep coming back for more!


… your back aches and you have plenty of Preparation H on hand.


… your back hurts at the words “lead lined.”


… you Rant Over Cut Knuckles.


… you’re still in the trade at 65.





Levels of Finish



… a level 5 finish is not something you accomplished in a video game.


… a level 5 finish warrants an act from congress.


… you know Level 5 is not in a video game.


… you know what a level 5 is.


… Level 5 is more than just a video game score.


… you don’t know levels 2, 3 or 4.





Gypsum // Gypsum Board // Wallboard


… installing Hydrated Calcium Sulfate panels is part of your job description.


… you see money signs when you see drywall.


… you remember non rated 5/8.


… you really don’t mind getting “board.”


… you were all excited the first time you went to the manufacturing plant to see how drywall is made.


… you believe Jesus was a carpenter only because there wasn’t drywall back then.


… you’re bummed because you just heard the last one and you haven’t been to a drywall manufacturing plant yet.


… you think drywall should be classified as a highly addictive and dangerous drug.


… you went to Home Depot just to see how light the lightweight board was.


… you’re happy because you’re the cut-man on the day you’re hanging high work.


… you’ve heard, “Did you get any on the wall?”


… you go to a house party as a single guy and ready to roll, and the host introduces you to his gorgeous cousin who is also single, and before you ask her what her name is, you say, “Nice to meet you, but excuse me,” and you ask the host if the walls have three coats plus a skim coat, and did you hang the drywall using Pre-Sets? (Nice.) Then you say I’m sorry to the young lady, I didn’t catch your name!


… drywall is the definition of a love/hate relationship.


… you do not “board” with them.


… you eat gypsum and Sheetrock!





Banjo


… your choices are a bazooka or a banjo.


… using a banjo represents modern technology to you.


… you have a banjo with no strings.


… you know that a banjo is not just a musical instrument.


… your banjo doesn’t play music.


… you play with a banjo that has no strings.


… your banjo won’t play bluegrass.





Bucket


… you have buried a family member’s ashes in a mud bucket.


… your favorite furniture is bucket bench!


… your tool box is a drywall bucket.


… your toolbox is a mud bucket.


… you look like you fell in a bucket of mud!


… you think a mud bucket makes a good tackle box.


… your first million will be made after you publish “101 Ways to Use a Mud Bucket.”
… you use your empty buckets as job-site furniture and ladders.


… someone asks you “What do you do with all your empty buckets?


… you think of mud buckets as lawn ornaments.


… your empty buckets become tool boxes.


… you can walk [on] two buckets.





Tools & Equipment


… you know the drill.


… the inventor of the drywall lift is in your top 10 list of heroes.


… you slice carrots with a utility knife.


… you can remove a bottle cap with a keyhole saw.


… you cut without a T-square.


… you can shave with your own trowel.


… you have more pans and knives than Yan Can Cook. (or Martin Yan).


… the only hole punch you own is an 8” piece of pipe for those conduit cut-outs.


… bit tips disappear like candy (cake, pizza, any good food).


… you use your router more at work than at home.


… you have the right tools.


… your pocket knife is a retractable utility knife.


… your razor is a utility knife.


… your tools turn white with age.


… you swore you’d never route a butt joint to get a sheet to fit, but at the end of a long day, you did it anyway.


… your knives don’t cut anything … except your fingers!


… you sleep with your screw gun. HAH!


… the liquid nail tub is your torch!


… you have a hook bill and you know how to use it!


… you love the smell of chop saw dust in the morning.


… you sleep with your Bazooka!


… you take your bazooka hunting.


… your bazooka doesn’t blow bubbles.


… you don’t think of bazooka as a bubble gum anymore.


… your bedposts are a scaffold.


… you’re the sharpest tool in the bucket.


… when your buddies say, “Let’s go hang out,” you reply, “Let me grab my tool belt!”


… you have the best equipment.


… you have the right Grit.


… you have more tape knives than kitchen knives.


… your favorite hat is made of plastic.


… you [know that] “stand ups” don’t happen at comedy clubs.


… you change blades daily.


… you lay out a garden with a T-square and a chalk box.


… you get that tape is 2 inches wide and mud comes in buckets.


… duct tape replaces Band-Aids in your medical kit.


… you have a gypsum construction application on your phone.


… you use a tape and pencil to mark everything.


… you can wrap a present better with paper tape than you can Scotch tape.


… you have ever lost a tool inside a wall.


… you hear “T-square” and you’re not in math class!


… you have no clue what a hatchet is doing on the backend of a drywall hammer, but you have a clever response all ready, just in case someone decides to ask.


… you heat up your lunch with a torpedo heater.


… you prefer stainless hardware over plastic software.


… you think extension ladder means two buckets of mud.


… your pro-tips are sharp.


… you ever used an ink blotter and a drywall screw head to pass a screw inspection.





Imaginery Tools



… you know what a board stretcher is.


… you ever told an apprentice to go get the board stretcher.


… you have ever had your buddy’s greenhorn helper come up and ask if

you have seen the stud stretcher laying around … and you kept a straight face and said, “It’s over there.”





Drywall Weaponry


… “have gun, will travel” is not illegal.


… all your guns are electric.


… guns, knives and bazookas are your tools of trade.


… you bring guns, knives and bazookas to work.


… you use guns, knives and bazookas at work.


… you use a bazooka more often than a Marine.


… you handle a bazooka every day but you are not in the Army.


… you know a bazooka gun isn’t a weapon.


… you try to rob a bank with a screw gun.


… you shoot a Hilti not a Glock.


… your favorite weapons are a knife and a bazooka.


… you ever used electrical tape as a Band-Aid after getting a little carried away with your utility knife.


… your idea of a Bazooka doesn’t involve a special weapons permit.


… you’ve got a gun.


… you use a bazooka within city limits.
… you carry a loaded Bazooka!

Joint Compound // Mud & Tape
… you bleed joint compound.
… mud is the topic of conversation.
… people can find you by the trail of mud crumbs.
… the word “Skim” makes you think of mud, not milk.
… you like to play in the mud.
… your idea of mud comes in a box.
… you’re a mudder.
… you know it’s a mud stomper and not a bean smasher.
… you like having mud on your palate.
… you don’t need a mud bath.
… you have mud in your blood!
… you play in the mud and love getting taped up.
… your “mud pile” is “flat.”
… your “mud” is your bud.
… your “seams” seem smooth as my “joints.”
… mud and tape make it what it ain’t!
… you’re a mudslinger without a sling.

Stilts
… you know walking on stilts is not a circus act.
… you aren’t in a band but you’ve got a banjo. You aren’t in the army but you can use a bazooka. You aren’t in the circus but you own a pair of stilts.
… your jacks don’t have a rubber ball. (Stilts)


… you walk stilts just for fun.


… stilts are better than your own two feet!


… you can use a five gallon bucket for stilts.


… you play basketball with stilts on.


… you’re so good on stilts you’ve had numerous job offers to join the circus.


… all of your Halloween costumes involve you walking on a pair of drywall stilts.


… you can dance on stilts and can’t normally.


… you can walk on stilts to reach for the stars to get your blue sky.


… your legs squeak like stilts.


… you’re good at walking on stilts.





Oh Sheet!





… people call you the beast of the sheets.


… you count sheets, not sheep, in your sleep.




… installing 8’ sheets is considered your lunch break.


… you count sheet.


… you talk sheet.


… you can rock between the sheets!





Get Plastered





… they expect you to get plastered at work!


… you are not plastered.


… you are plastered but not hung over.


… you love getting plastered five days a week!





So Many Studs, So Little Time


… you were a stud man first.


… you’re the only stud available once done.


… you name your firstborn son “Stud.”


… your screw is on the stud.


… you’re always hanging around studs.

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